I may be a big fan of mental contrasting but that doesn’t mean I have anything against the law of attraction. Truth be told, I am actually quite fond of the idea. Do good, be good, feel good, and good things will come back to you. Do bad, be bad, well, you get the idea.

The Law of Attraction and People

If you saw two people sitting in a room, one smiling, the other with a big old sour puss on his face, odds are you would be drawn to the more friendly person. Instinct tells you that the glass half full person is more likely to boost your spirits while the glass half empty person may wear you down with their negative thinking. Complaining, woe-is-me stories, gossip. It all gets old after a while.

Instead, you want to be with people who make you feel good about yourself and the world you live in. You want to be with people who support you when times are hard and encourage you to go after what we need and want. Generally speaking, as a human being, you are drawn to people that bring out the best in you. That does not mean you won’t stumble along the way. You may not always feel worthy of someone’s time and attention, but when you find the right people to join you on your life’s journey, all that self-doubt goes away.

Simply put, being around positive people feels good.

The Law of Attraction and Ideas

When Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret came out in 2006, the law of attraction took the world by storm. Oprah even promoted the book in two episodes on her talk show. People began creating vision boards and visualizing what it was they wanted to get out of life.

• Want to be a millionaire? Picture yourself winning the lottery.
• Want to be thin? See yourself slipping into those jeans you wore back in college.
• Want to marry Chris Hemsworth? Cut out a picture of the actor and tack it onto your vision board. Ummm…

When you see these things in your head, you feel great! That’s the power of positive thinking, but let’s get real. Unless you buy the right lottery ticket out of millions of options, unless you commit to diet and/or exercise, unless Chris Hemsworth gets divorced, you get the opportunity to meet him, and somehow you sweep him off his feet, you are not going to get any of those things. Simply thinking about what you want, no matter how positive you think about them, is not enough. You still have to get up and do something about it. The universe is not going to drop it (or him) in your lap.

Visualizing makes the things you want feel tangible. That can be a great motivator, but it can backfire. Research shows that visualizing can actually trick your brain into thinking you’ve already achieved your goal. Subconsciously, you are less likely to take the steps needed to make your dreams come true. Mental contrasting, on the other hand, lets you visualize the good things you want but then makes you take steps to overcome any challenges standing in your way. Turning your attention to life’s challenges may come off as “negative thinking”, but it is a more realistic way to get things done.

The Law of Attraction Cannot Fix Everything

I understand why the law of attraction has so much appeal. It looks for opportunity in everyday life. You learn to hope, connect, and be empowered. Positive thinking can do amazing things for the psyche.

Still, there are limits. Take Kim Tinkham, a woman diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. After second, third, and fourth opinions, all her doctors told her the same thing. They recommended treatment with surgery and chemotherapy. After seeing The Secret on Oprah, however, she decided to forgo those treatments and heal herself with positive thinking. Despite Oprah’s best efforts to convince her otherwise, to consider using medical therapies in conjunction with the law of attraction, Ms. Tinkham declined treatment and eventually died in 2010.

Following the law of attraction blindly is going to set you up for disappointment. The simple fact is that life is unpredictable. People will get sick, even when they wish themselves to be well. Countries will suffer through natural disasters, even though positive people live in those areas. It’s unrealistic to think you can get anything you want by wanting it bad enough and thinking positive thoughts.

You may be drawn to positive people and positive ideas. Now it is up to you to take that positive energy and do something with it. Use it. Channel it. Don’t sit back and wait for the universe to deliver the goods. The best way to get what you want is to go after it yourself.