The Hulk may not have been the most beloved superhero in the Marvel universe but he was the most authentic (even if he had the most anger). He was a multi-dimensional character — physically strong, mentally smart, and emotionally vulnerable. He didn’t need a cape or a hammer to win the day. All he needed was himself.

The Rational Thinker

The Hulk started out as mild mannered Bruce Banner. As a scientist, he used his brilliant mind to learn and invent new things. More importantly, he collaborated with others to get things done. After he became the Hulk, he continued to work on a team. The Avengers would not have been the same without him. In fact, he was the superhero who reversed the “blip”, saving millions of lives.

In some ways, I’m not all that different than Bruce, though I know next to nothing about nuclear physics. I did save a few lives as a doctor though.

Growing up, my family often thought of me as the level-headed one. It’s true I tended to be more introverted than my sister and my brother but that had nothing to do with it. I was often found with my head in a book or writing stories because my curiosity drew that out in me. I thrived on solving problems and learning new things. It should be no surprise my first college course was Logic & Reasoning!

The Hot Head

That does not mean I am always a rational thinker. I’m not proud to admit it but if someone cuts me off in traffic, I curse out loud. To be honest, I curse all the time. It’s like a second language. Some studies even show that people who swear are more honest!

We found a consistent positive relationship between profanity and honesty; profanity was associated with less lying and deception at the individual level and with higher integrity at the society level.

Dr. David Stillwell, Cambridge Judge Business School

I have little patience for people who do not consider how their actions affect other people. I especially have a low tolerance for people who lie.

The Hulk seemed to feel the same. Except he did more than swear. When his emotions got the better of him, he acted out physically and aggressively. You could even say he had anger management issues. Poor Loki!

The Empathy Gap

The problem is you can’t just give in to your anger. That doesn’t solve anything and, quite frankly, can sometimes make things worse. So how can you bring your rational thinker to your hot head?

When you’re in a good mood (a cold state), you can’t imagine acting irrationally in a given situation. You believe your rational thinker will do its job. When you’re in an emotional state (a hot state), your reality is quite different. You are more likely to act on impulse than you were in a cold state. That gap in how you think your two selves will respond is known as the empathy gap.

Closing the Gap

Closing the gap is not always easy but it can make your life better in the long run. Here are some approaches that can help you to slow down and take in the situation.

• Ask yourself how you responded to a similar situation in the past. This will help you avoid magical thinking.
• Imagine how you would feel in a different emotional state. By considering your mindset when you are under stress, you can make a more realistic prediction.
• Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Showing empathy for someone else can sometimes be easier than showing empathy for yourself.

In time, the Hulk was able to get control of his anger, so much so that he was able to stay green while working in the lab. If only we could all find that kind of balance. I, for one, am still working on it.

 

Farrell, W; Seager, M.J.; & Barry, J.A. (2016). The Male Gender Empathy Gap: Time for psychology to take action. New Male Studies, 5(2), 6-16. https://discovery.ucl.ac.uk/id/eprint/1534129/

Hood, C. (2022). The MCU Finally Acknowledges That Hulk Saved The Universe. Screen Rant. https://screenrant.com/avengers-endgame-snap-hulk-saved-universe/

Kang, M. J., & Camerer, C. F. (2013). fMRI evidence of a hot-cold empathy gap in hypothetical and real aversive choices. Frontiers in Neuroscience, 7. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnins.2013.00104

Loewenstein G. (2005). Hot-cold empathy gaps and medical decision making. Health Psychology, 24(4S), S49–S56. https://doi.org/10.1037/0278-6133.24.4.S49

Nordgren, L. F., Banas, K., & MacDonald, G. (2011). Empathy gaps for social pain: Why people underestimate the pain of social suffering. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(1), 120–128. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0020938

Psychology Today: Are people who swear more honest? (2021). Cambridge Judge Business School. https://www.jbs.cam.ac.uk/insight/2021/psychology-today-are-people-who-swear-more-honest