As a writer, I know a thing or two about self-doubt. It creeps up on all of us at some time or other, regardless of what field you work in. The trick is to not let your confidence take a hit when things don’t go your way. Give yourself a boost of self esteem instead.

The Problem with Comparison

After reading a particularly good book, one of two things happens to the average writer.

1. They are truly inspired. Off they go to write a book of their very own.
2. They question their own writing skills. How can they ever live up to those standards?

In either case, one thing is true. The ego is front and center. It grows as big as a house or poofs into a ball of nothingness. It can be hard but you can’t let your emotions get in the way. Everyone is capable if they have the drive and motivation to work for what they want (within reason, of course).

Do not worry about comparing yourself to other people, even when people are quick to flaunt their accomplishments. Wish them well, but know that their talent, or lack thereof, isn’t a reflection on you. Focus on what you have to offer. Let your talent shine on its own merit.

Finding Inspiration in Others

That’s what Gil learned in Midnight in Paris. As a writer transported back in time to 1920s Paris (I want to go!), he meets writing icons Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Zelda Fitzgerald, and Gertrude Stein. In awe of these Golden Age artists, he believes their brilliance dwarfs anything he could create in his own work. His self-esteem waffles. Then, Gil has a burst of insight.

He could sit back and ogle, or he could take the opportunity to learn from them. Putting his ego aside, he asks Gertrude Stein to read his work. This sets a fire in him to write better and edit harder than ever before. After all, no one gets better without making an effort. When Stein confirms he’s got the stuff, it’s more than validation. It’s a dream come true.

A Matter of Perspective

Building up self esteem is not always easy. Too many people are quick to knock others down when the going gets tough. Social media trolls pounce for the fun of it. People hurt others, often because they feel hurt themselves.

What we need is more empathy and self-compassion. Don’t criticize others for a lapse of judgment, shame them for things out of their control, or think you are somehow better than they, whatever the reason. They are a person just like you and it is kinder to give them the benefit of the doubt if it seems their intentions were good. Likewise, don’t be so hard on yourself. Easier said than done but your opportunities will start to open up when you have a growth mindset.

Instead of bringing other people down, lift them up. As the golden rule says, do to others as you want them to do to you. In doing so, you get a self esteem boost all your own.