You would be hard-pressed to find someone more self-absorbed than Cher Horowitz from Clueless. She’s a rich kid who drains daddy’s pockets at every turn. She lives in a house as big as a mansion, wears only brand-name clothes, drives (or attempts to drive) luxury cars, and bribes her teachers for good grades. She’s one of the most popular girls in school, the reigning queen bee.

You Can’t Buy Happiness

On the surface, Cher is a girl who has everything. Except she’s not happy, not really. It takes some soul-searching to learn the hard truth that she would have known had she simply listened to some Beatles tunes. Money can’t buy love. It won’t buy happiness either.

Tell me that you want the kind of things
That money just can’t buy

John Lennon and Paul McCartney, Can’t Buy Me Love

More Is Not Always Better

When you’re healthy, you may not realize how easy it is to breathe through your nose. When you get a cold, boy, do you notice! While you are sick, you are aware of every uncomfortable breath, how hard it is to sleep, and worse, all that drool on your pillow. As you get better, you appreciate your health in a whole new way. You breathe in and out with purpose, but a month or two later, you fall back into old habits. The ease of breathing is forgotten.

The same can be said when it comes to the things you want and buy. You appreciate them for a while but then you get used to them, so much so that you start taking them for granted. It’s a reminder that money does not buy happiness, at least not for the long haul.

In a materialistic world, it’s not surprising so many people get caught up in the “more is better” trap. “If I had _____, then I would be happy.” Insert what you want into the blank — a new relationship, a new car, a new house, a new job, the newest high tech gadget. Sorry to tell you, whatever it is may not bring you lasting happiness.

This is not to say you won’t or can’t be happy. Of course, you can. Relying on “things” to bring you joy, however, may not be the way to go. The boost of happiness those things give probably won’t last long.

I don’t care too much for money
Money can’t buy me love

John Lennon and Paul McCartney, Can’t Buy Me Love

Hedonic Adaptation

Once you get accustomed to something, it tends to lose its luster. You may still enjoy it, but it doesn’t have the shiny sheen it had before you had it, when you wanted it so badly. Odds are you will start looking for your next fix, i.e., the next big thing, that you think will make you feel happier. And on and on it goes. This is what psychologists refer to as hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill.

To get past hedonic adaptation, you need to bring awareness to your everyday life. You need to remind yourself of all the good you have now. That may mean focusing on relationships with family and friends, being thankful for a place to live or the food you eat, giving gratitude for the education you’ve gotten and an opportunity to work. Not until Cher started directing her energy towards other people instead of herself did she start to find happiness.

I may not have a lot to give
But what I’ve got I’ll give to you

John Lennon and Paul McCartney, Can’t Buy Me Love

While you can always imagine a “better” situation, you need to remember that the life you have right now is just as valuable and just as precious. Imagine what it would be like if you did not have what you already have! You don’t need money to buy happiness. All you need is love and a little gratitude.