There are moments in life that change you. They can be intensely personal — falling in love, having a child, losing a loved one, and even recovering from an illness. Other moments are more universal, affecting not only you but everyone around you. Those are the ones that change the world.

Collective Soul

Anyone who was alive during 9/11 knows exactly what I am talking about. They remember where they were and what they were doing when they got the word about the tragedy. They remember vividly what it felt like to see the twin towers of the World Trade Center on fire and to see them crumble to the ground in a pile of ash, the shock of learning that the Pentagon was also attacked, and the fact that a fourth hijacked plane crashed in Pennsylvania. 2,983 innocent lives were lost that day.

There was a collective horror because we had a collective soul. While there were terrible people who racially profiled Arabs and Muslims (stop the hate!), many more Americans took a different stance — unity. You saw Americans rushing to donate blood and people hanging U.S. flags out their windows to show their support. Thousands of volunteers aided in the clean up at Ground Zero, even as it put their own health at risk. Everyone came together because that’s what Americans did.

In Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, a young boy comes to terms with the loss of his father on 9/11. The movie hits close to home for so many.

Collective Grief

What drew us together back then was collective grief. That grief was deep and it was profound. We mourned not only the lives lost but also the loss of the America we once knew. Terrorists stole our sense of security and replaced it with uncertainty and fear. In a moment, the tragedy flicked a switch from a pre-9/11 to a post-9/11 world, one where we would brace ourselves with “see something, say something”.

The COVID-19 pandemic is similar to 9/11 in many ways, only on a larger scale. Instead of terrorists, we face a virus. This time, thousands of American lives are not the only ones at stake. Hundreds of thousands of people have died around the world and the number continues to rise. Through it all, our humanity shines through. People sacrifice for their fellow man — healthcare workers, essential employees, and volunteers — while they and others support each other by wearing face masks and social distancing. Together we mourn.

Again, the world we once knew is gone. Even when we find an effective treatment (there are no cures at this time) and even when (and if) we develop an effective vaccine, society will not go back to “normal”. Another switch has been flicked. After all the lives lost, all the suffering and grief, hopefully, we will have learned what we need to do, the precautions we need to take, to prevent another pandemic in the future. Like the changes to airports after 9/11, certain social practices will be here to stay.

We Are in This Together

There is one significant difference between the experience of 9/11 then and COVID-19 today. This time we do not have a collective soul. Fear and hate divide us.

Although many people follow the recommended COVID-19 safety measures, many others put their personal freedoms ahead of their communities. They protest stay-at-home orders in threatening ways, carrying automatic rifles into capital buildings so that legislators feel the need to wear bulletproof vests. Some wipe their noses on workers who ask them to put on masks, workers who are only following their state’s orders. Others spit on police officers or bus drivers for doing the same or push park rangers into lakes. Worse, they even shoot and kill security guards.

It’s one thing to grieve for what you have lost. It is understandable to be frustrated by a perceived lack of freedom and to want to get the economy moving again, especially if you have lost your own job. It is another altogether to abuse and harass people who are literally trying to keep you safe. Masks and social distancing protect you, not victimize you. It’s time to put our differences aside for the greater good.

These are uncertain times. We are all trying to work our way through a pandemic. Now is not the time to pull apart. Now is the time to come together. Our unity got us through tragedies in the past and it can help us through our collective grief. Please remember to be kind to one another. We need our humanity now more than ever.