There is a scene in Bridget Jones’s Diary that could have given Bridget a bit of an ego, but it did exactly the opposite. Two handsome men literally fought it out in a street brawl, vying for her affections. To be honest, they had an old vendetta to settle too. Daniel Cleaver slept with Mark Darcy’s fiance on their wedding day.

Fighting for What You Want

To the tune of The Weathergirls’  “It’s Raining Men”, the fight unfolds in comedic Bridget fanfare until Mark knocks Daniel flat on his backside. Bridget berates Mark for being so aggressive, and Mark walks away rejected. This leaves Daniel alone to win Bridget’s heart.

Bridget feels bad for Daniel. Except Daniel doesn’t exactly seal the deal when he says, “If I can’t make it with you, then I can’t make it with anyone.”

Now that’s a way to make a woman feel special!

Fighting Self Doubt

Bridget was immediately filled with doubt, and who could blame her? Her self-worth was challenged; she was relegated to second-best; she was asked to settle. You may have felt self-doubt yourself.

I say we take those negative thoughts out into a street brawl of our own.

Whether you had a difficult childhood, experienced a traumatic event, were hurt by someone you loved, or were fed these thoughts by Debbie Downers in your life, there can be a tendency to veer towards the negative. Self-doubt makes you question everything, but sometimes calling something out for what it is — irrational thinking — takes away its power.

Fighting for a Good Enough Offer

When you find yourself listening to your own negative self-talk or worse, stop.

Breathe. Think. Recalibrate. Would I talk to a friend this way? Would a real friend talk to me this way?

Then dig deeper. What are these thoughts based on — hard facts or assumptions and projection? What is actually happening in this situation? Is there a way I can reframe it in a positive, or at least a more neutral, way? Catching yourself before the negativity spiral takes over will help you turn the tide.

Bridget stopped her doubt spiral when she says to Daniel, “That’s not a good enough offer for me. I’m not willing to gamble my whole life on someone who’s, well, not quite sure. It’s like you said, I’m still looking for something more extraordinary than that.”

Bridget shows us how to respect ourselves. That we are worth it. We are extraordinary. We deserve every chance at happiness. It’s time to take Bridget’s lead and wait for a better offer. You are good enough.