Would you walk up to a man and put your hand on his belly? Whether you were drawn to his six-pack abs or his beer gut (to each his own), you wouldn’t do it. It’s rude. So, why do so many people think it’s okay to do that to a woman?

Don’t Touch a Pregnant Woman’s Belly

When a woman is pregnant, strangers will reach for her belly without permission. Even family members do it. As a doctor, so many patients reached out for my belly during office visits. I had to have my nursing staff warn them against it.

All the while, the pregnant woman is made to feel rude for saying no. She’s mean, cold, and self-righteous. How quickly people forget — it’s her body, not theirs. While the idea of a baby may make some folks feel warm and fuzzy inside, that does not give them any claim to this woman’s body or to her baby. If they have the urge to pet someone or something, they should go find a petting zoo.

Don’t Judge a Woman’s Body

If touching a pregnant woman’s belly without permission is bad, imagine touching a woman’s belly because you think she’s pregnant … when she’s not. It happens, my friend, and it is humiliating for everyone involved.

Don’t assume a woman is pregnant, and if you feel the urge to ask if she’s pregnant, don’t. We come in all different shapes and sizes, and that means some women will be overweight or obese. Some women will have a belly pooch and if they were recently pregnant, they could be struggling to lose the baby weight. We can’t all be Kate Middleton. Thinking a woman’s body needs to look a certain way and otherwise judging her for being “pregnant” is absolute BS.

Don’t Judge a Woman’s Choices

Even if a woman happens to be pregnant, that does not give anyone the right to judge her life choices. A Starbucks barista was caught telling a pregnant woman she could not have a caffeinated macchiato because it was “bad for the baby”.

Let’s get this straight. Pregnant women can have caffeine. The Starbucks website claims their caramel macchiato has 150 mg of caffeine, 50 mg LESS than what medical organizations recommend a pregnant woman can safely have daily. Not serving a pregnant woman something that is in her right to have is just another way to control and shame her. Back off.

Don’t Take a Woman’s Reproductive Rights

Dealing with baristas and strangers on the street is frustrating enough. Now we have SCOTUS striking down Roe vs. Wade, allowing each state to decide for themself whether abortion would be legal. In an instant, the right to choose was taken away from millions of women.

It all started with lawmakers in red states passing anti-abortion laws and heartbeat bills in attempts to diminish women’s reproductive rights. Some states refused abortion at any stage of pregnancy, regardless of rape or incest. At the same time, we saw cases where men who rape young girls are let off with lenient sentences by judges who say they come “from a good family”. Where is the justice in that?

Since the June 24, 2022 SCOTUS decision, 26 states have threatened to make abortion illegal or severely restrict access. What is especially disturbing is how Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has talked about abortion and birth control in the past. He likens abortion to eugenics programs tailored to wipe out certain gene traits and even races. He goes on to put birth control in the same category. Then, in his concurrent opinion on the Roe vs. Wade case (Dobbs vs. Jackson Women’s Health Organization), he goes on to say that contraception (Griswold vs. Connecticut) could be next on the list for landmark cases that could be reconsidered by the court. Even if he is the only SCOTUS judge that thinks this way, it’s still chilling.

Time for Change

The attack on a woman’s reproductive rights is unprecedented. Women cannot get an abortion but a man can get away with rape because he came “from a good family”. Women trying to prevent unwanted pregnancies may have to fight to access birth control in the future while medications like Viagra allow men to cause those unwanted pregnancies.

Inequities are all around us, especially when it comes to reproductive rights. It’s time women are given control over their bodies. That means giving them choice and access to care.